My Inamorata

This morning you left me, my world fell apart.

Heated passions had boiled over, an argument that never should have been, now tearing my heart from my chest. Fate destined lovers with eyes only for each other. Two souls as one ripped from one another, leaving just ghosts and painful memories behind.

Your words cut so deep, the blood ran freely, I didn’t want it to stop. Scars were all that would remain.

The pain so great as the door slammed shut behind you, your keys on the table. The world shifted, my legs crumble as I drop to the floor, sadness enveloping me. I feel like the sky is falling, ready to plummet down and crush me. There is so much hurt.

I want it to end, to say I am sorry. I would give anything, anything for the chance to explain. My world, my life, to show you I hadn’t meant those words I had spoken. You are my everything; and now it is too late.

My soul slips deeper, drowning.

As I lie on the fall, I want the earth to open its gaping mouth and swallow me whole as I sink into the inky depths, drifting into an abyss. Drained of love, hollow and alone, I can’t breathe. My chest hurts so much, the shudders of loss stab like a thousand knives.

Fleeting hope propels me up, plucking me from despair as I rush to the window on uncertain legs. Rain lashing down like a painful mimicry of my emotions. There you are below, walking in the rain, walking away.

If only you would look back, I beat my hands to the glass, screaming your name. Please don’t leave me! Hope slipping away.

I collapse, crying at the window, watching as you leave. Tears streaming, running down my face; dripping down, pooling. Falling like the pieces of so many broken promises. I can’t turn to you anymore, there is so much regret.

I lay there, a shipwreck on the rocks, wishing the waves would gently pick me up and carry me away. Cries wrack my body, shaking me to the core. I love you so much.

How did it come to this? Can’t we turn back the clock? Whatever the cost, I’d pay it gladly.

I’d pushed you away, now wanting to pull you back to me. You took my heart with you, leaving me an empty shell. It was always yours, my heart belongs only to you.

Memories of our love fill me up, ready to tear me apart. How can I go on when you make me what I am?

We do everything together, as one. Hand in hand, I feel protected, your loving arms keeping me from harm. When you put your arms around me, I feel like I am home.

Now I’m left, cold and alone, do you even care? Ages seem to pass without you here, the raindrops on the glass, like rivulets of my pain.

The sun begins to set, the rain clouds turning golden, a cruel taunt when I remember how many beautiful evenings we had watched them together.

At the end you start to think about the beginning. It had been so good for so long.

I loved you from the first moment we met. Your smile warmed my soul, sweeping me away like a leaf on a breeze, a great wind carrying me. Now I’m falling, so afraid, and I need you to catch me.

Gradually, the darkness of sleep takes me, takes me to the place where we still are. A chance for me to apologise.

I can tell you how I feel, now that you’re gone, how much I miss you. I need you to subdue my fears, to tell me that you still love me, that you’ll love me for a thousand years.

I plead with everything my heart can muster, come back to me, come back to me please!

A sound stirs me from that place, but I don’t want to leave. Insistent, it beckons me away, a knock, then another. As my tired eyes open, the sound seemed a dimmest spark of distant hope, in a world now so dark, I dare not believe in.

I rise to consciousness, making my way across the darkened room to the door, walking on a carpet of shattered hopes and dreams. More than anything I want it to be you. To see you again.

Reaching my nervous hand to open, I brace myself for certain anguish, any other face but yours I could not bear. Please let it be you, I ache for it so.

My knees feel weak, unable to support me, as the light from the hallway frames you like an angel, a halo of grace. My eyes well with tears anew, as you stand before me, returned. Cold rain drips from every part of you.

The spark bursts to life, your beautiful face the fuel on the fire of my passion. Words escape me, as my tears flow. Your compassion and understanding of my longing draws you to me. An embrace I never thought would happen again. Your loving arms have returned.

As I look into your eyes, as pained as mine by our time apart, everything I longed to say to you is understood.

As our lips touch, the fires inside me explode. Our sunlight fills up the room, the warm rays of urgent passion bathing our bodies. Our primal desires rushing to the surface as an expression of our love for one another.

Wet clothes fall away, discarded, unwanted. I need you, I need you so much. Hands wonder as our tongues welcome each other, please don’t let us ever part again.

Need takes over as our dance of desire quickens. We move with grace around the room, the shards of broken glass from a vase, as forgotten and inconsequential as our reasons for parting.

Our whirlwind of lust gliding us, guiding us around the room, a path of sexual destruction. Two naked bodies becoming one. Fingers, mouths, tongues and teeth; burning paths of pleasure over each others skin.

Thighs part as our fingers probe, so eager and demanding, a yearning no longer restrained.

Moans escape our lips, breathing heavily into each others mouths, our want and need the greatest I have ever known. Breasts heaving with passion, sensual, sexual, raw. We hold each other, not ever wanting to be parted again.

Our breaths shallow, as we begin the ascent to the inevitable peeks, the heights of pleasure known only by true love. Lips flush, cheeks burn, a beacon in the darkness.

Eyes and hands clench, fingers interwoven as our coupling reaches its climatic conclusion. Stars explode as our backs arch with the intensity of carnal release. Squeezing, breathing, moaning, longing. All is good in the world.

Tingling, fuzzy contentment now spreads like a warm blanket over us both, wrapped in love.

Never a word need be spoken, how perfectly we know one another as I rest my head on your breast. The happiest I have ever been.

Your arms circle me, holding me close. I am home.

I will tell you how much a care for you a hundred times a day without it ever losing it’s meaning. Hold me now, until the fear of you leaving, can keep my heart still beating.

Just three words, to put things right. I want you more than words can say, but these will have to do.

I look into your eyes.

Straight into your soul.

“I love you.”