Subliminal Boobage

“Hey, Dan.”


One thing Dan really liked about sharing a house with a girl as opposed to other guys was that they always smelled great. Gone were the bags of two-week old sweaty gym clothes and post-curry farting competitions. The hell of olfactory foulness had been replaced by a bouquet of feminine delights. Whatever expensive perfume his new housemate had doused herself in this afternoon was particularly pleasant and immediately distracted him from what he was doing. Dan momentarily glanced up from his iPad as she breezed passed him.

“Jesus Christ, woman! Would you put some fucking clothes on?”

The bubbly and ever-exuberant Natalie had just bounded into the living room wearing nothing but a black lace bra. True to form, she completely ignored Dan’s protestation and began buzzing around the untidy room, lifting up sofa cushions and looking behind the furniture.

“I’m trying to find my lucky panties. Have you seen them?”

Utterly distracted by her quest to find her sexiest little scrap of lace, she bent at the waist and started fishing around the empty pizza boxes and fashion magazines that littered the coffee table. Dan’s eyes strayed from the episode of Archer he was watching on Netflix and rose up to the perfectly round, firm bottom that wiggled enticingly two feet in front of him. Even on pain of death, he could not have prevented his gaze from eventually focusing on the smooth, pouting peach of a pussy at the apex of her thighs. It was absolutely gorgeous. He hadn’t seen any girly bits in almost a year and even those more closely resembled a hairy coconut compared to this hairless little snatch.



“You’re winking at me, love.”

“I’m what?” she replied, and then giggled when she realised what he meant. “Oh, sorry.”

Dan shook his head and sat up straight. They had only been housemates for six weeks but apart from the place smelling a lot nicer, it had been a fucking nightmare. Natalie was a lovely girl. She was funny, and sweet, and easy to get along with, but she traipsed around the house wearing practically nothing. It obviously hadn’t occurred to her that Dan was a red blooded male with needs that he was currently having to satisfy by himself with a bottle of hand lotion. Only two days before he had walked in to find her completely naked, standing in front of the pedestal fan in the kitchen like a starfish, ‘air drying’ after a shower.

“Which ones are your lucky ones?”

“The bubblegum-pink thong.”

“Oh, you mean that thing you floss your arse with? No, I haven’t seen it.” Dan turned his attention back to his tablet computer. “It’s bad enough I get your tight, tank-top, no-bra subliminal boobage the rest of the time but…”

“Subliminal boobage?” she questioned, turning around and resting a hand on her jutting hip.

“Your tits, Nat. Your awesome, firm, gorgeous, perky tits. In my face! But now you’re traipsing around flashing your, your…”


“Your…” Dan waved his hand about, struggling for the most appropriate word now he’d been put on the spot. “Front… lady flappage.”

Suddenly the mobile phone sat on the coffee table began to chime.


Natalie snatched up her phone and ran her fingers through her tousled hair as she answered it.

“Hey, baby,” she cooed into the handset like a horny little sex kitten.

Dan rolled his eyes.

“What?” Nat asked, suddenly sounding incredulous. “You’re standing me up to watch Manchester United play Chelsea? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Dan slid down further into the armchair and grimaced behind his iPad. Bad move.

“Yeah? Well, I guess your dick can suck itself from now on!”

Natalie hung up the call, gave her iPhone the finger, and then launched it across the room where it landed in the dried-up pot of a long dead house plant.

“Fate hates me, that’s what it is,” she said to no one in particular. “I feel like life just jizzed in its hand and slapped me across the face.”


Natalie trudged over to the two-seater sofa and flopped down onto it face first. A big cushion was propping up her hips and bottom which were now raised at a deliciously inviting angle. It reminded Dan of those massage porn videos where is was only a matter of time before the impossibly endowed blonde getting oiled up on the table was given some extra special treatment.

“Nat, listen, I’m really sorry you got stood up but please listen to me when I tell you this,” Dan shuffled uncomfortably in his chair. “My dick is so hard right now I could use it to drill through walls. Pretty please with cherries on top, would you put some fucking clothes on?”

“How could he do that to me?” she asked, completely ignoring his desperate pleas. Her voice was muffled by the cushion her face was pressed into. “I’ve been looking forward to going out all afternoon. I even got a wax and everything.”

She rolled over, propped herself up into a slouched sitting position, and ran her fingers over her smooth pubic mound.

“Like a piece of silk,” she whispered to herself forlornly as Dan ground his teeth.

She took her bra off and dropped it over the side of the couch with a contented sigh.

“I was finally gonna let him fuck me tonight as well.”

“Nat!” Dan shouted exasperatedly. “You can’t tell me shit like that! We’re friends, yes, but I’m a guy and you’re… really, really naked.”

“I can’t help it. The anticipation’s been there all day, you know? You’re really easy to talk to and now I’m really fucking horny.” She rolled over to face him, resting her head on her hand. With her index finger, she began to trace little circles on the sofa whilst she nibbled on her bottom lip. “Talk about sex with me.”

Dan gave up. He turned off his iPad and dropped it onto the coffee table with a frustrated grunt.

“Can’t I just suffocate you with one of those cushions instead?”

“Come on, when’s the last time you got laid?”

“Too fucking long.” Dan paused and took a deep breath to try and chill. He thought about it for a moment and then mumbled a reply. “Probably nine months.”

“Nine months? Jesus, no wonder you’re hard.”

“Yeah, well that’s your fault.”

“Sorry about that,” she chuckled and again nibbled on her bottom lip. “Show me your cock.”

“What? Why?”

“Why not? You’ve seen me naked.”

“You never wear any clothes.”

Before he could say another word Natalie quickly stood up, walked over to his chair, and knelt down on the floor next to him.

“Stop being a pussy. Come on. I want to see it.”

Dan’s cock was throbbing in his pants. He had no doubt she could already see the bulge in his denim. Against his better judgment, he began to unbutton his jeans which took longer than normal as he kept fumbling the brass stud at the waist.

“You’re not winding me up, are you?” he asked as a final confirmation before exposing himself.

She just shook her head and rested her elbows on the arm of his chair. Dan shuffled both his jeans and black cotton boxer shorts down over his hips to his knees revealing his rock hard erection. It sat flat against his stomach and twitched as she stared at it. Natalie hummed quietly in appreciation.

“Daaamn, I didn’t know you were packin’.”

Dan couldn’t help but give a goofy grin at the compliment of his package.

“Shaved balls, too. I love that,” she purred. “May I?”

Dan didn’t exactly know what he was consenting to but he swallowed hard and nodded. A shiver ran up his spine as Nat ran her fingers slowly over his smooth scrotum. She cupped his balls in her hand and squeezed them gently like she had a new toy to play with.

“If you’re single, why do you keep them shaved?”

“It feels nice,” he replied with a shrug and tightened his grip on the arms of the chair.

“Mmm, they do feel nice. You know, it’s so nice sucking on them when they’re shaved like that.”

“Oh yeah?” mumbled Dan.

“You have a gorgeous cock, too. It’s thicker than Jeff’s.”

“Erm, thanks,” he replied nervously. “Look, this isn’t weird, is it? You know, with us being friends and housemates.”

Natalie shuffled around on the floor until she was kneeling between Dan’s legs. He couldn’t remember the last time his cock had been that hard. He could feel it pulsating as his heart almost beat out of his chest. He could even hear his blood pumping in his ears.

“Well, as of five minutes ago I’m single again,” she replied softly as she wrapped her small hand around his cock. Dan flinched and his breath caught in his throat. “So, perhaps we could be friends with benefits?”

“Benefits?” He swallowed hard and frowned in confusion. “What sort of benefits?”

“All sorts,” Nat said quietly and rested her soft cheek against his inner thigh, looking up at him. “When I really want a nice, hard cock to suck you can help me out, and when you have the aching need for a girl to suck your balls dry…”

She left the thought hanging in the air but Dan could fill in the blanks.

“Can I, Dan? Please?”

Dan had now lost the ability to speak. He dared not try for fear of sounding like a complete fucking idiot. He looked into Natalie’s pleading eyes and simply nodded. What followed was a blowjob better than he could ever have imagined was possible. Nat was obviously worked up after having spent all day getting ready for her date and the fuck-fest which undoubtedly would have followed late into the night.

Her head bobbed up and down in his lap as she took more and more of his desperately hard cock into her mouth. She sucked hard and worked her hands on his shaft in a frenzied blur. She wasn’t looking to savour the moment, but rather was impatient for the payoff. Each time her head rose up revealing her pretty lips wrapped around his saliva-slicked flesh, she rolled her tongue around the swollen head of his dick like she knew exactly what it must feel like. As much as Dan wanted to sit there and enjoy the amazing things Natalie was doing with her mouth, he just couldn’t hold on any longer.

“Nat. Nat, I’m nearly there.”

Natalie took her hands off his cock and rested them on the tops of his thighs. Her head bobbed up and down even faster but now completely hands-free. She sucked harder and took him deeper until her nose nestled against his groin. With his balls now painfully tight, Dan gave a loud grunt and begin to shoot his load. Jet after jet of hot cum filled her mouth as he clenched his arse cheeks hard over and over.

Natalie pulled back after the first couple of spurts coated the back of her throat, and kept her lips wrapped tightly around the head of his dick. She continued sucking and stroking with her tongue until every last drop of his seed had been squeezed out of his heavy balls. When Dan was finally spent, she looked up at him and with a wry smile, swallowed her mouthful much to his amazement.

A single drop had landed on her chin which she quickly wiped up with a finger and slipped into her mouth. Dan had just had the best orgasm of his life and to top it off, had now watched the beautiful girl who had sucked him off enjoy swallowing his cum. Nothing could have been sexier than that.

“Oh my god, that was amazing,” Nat said with breathless glee. “I guess you really needed that, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

“You taste really good, too,” she offered as she stood up. Dan just melted back into the chair with a contented sigh, enjoying the sight of Nat’s gorgeous perky breasts jiggling as she ruffled her hair. His eyes widened as he watched her drop her hand between her legs to her flushed, red coochie.

“I’m so fucking hot right now. Look how wet you made me.”

Natalie ran two fingers between the swollen folds of her bare pussy and held them out in front of Dan. Her glossy, slick fingers smelled of her sex. Although he had just come, Dan could already feel his aching cock stirring again.

“I know you’ve just come, Dan, but I really need a hard dick inside me right now. Maybe you could eat my pussy for a while until you recuperate. What do you say?”

She slipped her cum-slicked fingers into Dan’s mouth and let him suck them clean of her sticky-sweet arousal. He looked up into her sexy, lust-hazed eyes and slowly nodded, silently thanking God for inconsiderate boyfriends and Manchester United.